The doomsday scenario:
-We lose the next three, or...
-We draw the next two and lose the last one, or...
-Something else unfathomable happens, i.e., some combination of us both flaming out of the Champions League AND somehow, someway missing out on top 4.
Or how about this scenario: Ars*al and Man U finish above us (so not only CL for the red vermin but "St. Totteringham's Day" to boot) and then Chelsea win the Europa League...or hell, the scum finish in 5th with us 6th and they win the effing EL Cup! So yeah, basically five of the top 6 are all smiles whilst we are sat there, unable to speak, think, react, breathe, blink...
Let's face it-- after Chels**** won the Champions League Final by beating Bayern Munich in extra time in a final played in Munich-- and this after beating Pep's Barcelona (you know, the one with the most in-form ever Xavi, Iniesta and Messi [who, need it be remembered, missed a fuh-king penalty kick]) and, to boot, was a match that saw the blue vermin being down a goal until the very bitter freaking end and yet somehow, someway, they pulled out the win in extra time, thereby making us the lone victims of the "4th place winner"-curse...
...and of course Lasagnegate...and Martin Fulop...and Chris Foy @ Stoke...
I mean seriously-- as far as snatching soul crushing end-of-seasons from the jaws of pure joy let's face it: we have priors...
So yeah- what if this season is yet another in the pantheon of misery? What would you do? Would you be able to chalk it up to an incredibly unlucky and incredibly stupid, wasteful campaign, one from which we'll surely return stronger than ever, or would you go all Sylvia Plath?
Me, I'm already clearing out the garage to make sure the car actually fits and, simultaneously getting my affairs in order. The thought of Toby and Eriksen fucking off to "better" clubs...the thought of the Champions League anthem being played just before Guendouzi leads a revamped/retooled scum attack at the Parc des Princes...the thought of us getting ready to fly out to Albania for our first group stage match...all this fills me with the kind of dread I'm not sure my 51-year-old ticker can withstand. Losing to an Ajax team that I know we would fucking CRUSH were we anywhere near full strength would do my head in- yes- but I could handle it; flaming out of a Top-4 finish- one that's practically been gift wrapped for us- now that I actually don't think I could handle...
I wonder if there's a book that would take $ on a Tottenham-double-meltdown-misery parlay? That way I'll at least be able to leave something to my kids...
-We lose the next three, or...
-We draw the next two and lose the last one, or...
-Something else unfathomable happens, i.e., some combination of us both flaming out of the Champions League AND somehow, someway missing out on top 4.
Or how about this scenario: Ars*al and Man U finish above us (so not only CL for the red vermin but "St. Totteringham's Day" to boot) and then Chelsea win the Europa League...or hell, the scum finish in 5th with us 6th and they win the effing EL Cup! So yeah, basically five of the top 6 are all smiles whilst we are sat there, unable to speak, think, react, breathe, blink...
Let's face it-- after Chels**** won the Champions League Final by beating Bayern Munich in extra time in a final played in Munich-- and this after beating Pep's Barcelona (you know, the one with the most in-form ever Xavi, Iniesta and Messi [who, need it be remembered, missed a fuh-king penalty kick]) and, to boot, was a match that saw the blue vermin being down a goal until the very bitter freaking end and yet somehow, someway, they pulled out the win in extra time, thereby making us the lone victims of the "4th place winner"-curse...
...and of course Lasagnegate...and Martin Fulop...and Chris Foy @ Stoke...
I mean seriously-- as far as snatching soul crushing end-of-seasons from the jaws of pure joy let's face it: we have priors...
So yeah- what if this season is yet another in the pantheon of misery? What would you do? Would you be able to chalk it up to an incredibly unlucky and incredibly stupid, wasteful campaign, one from which we'll surely return stronger than ever, or would you go all Sylvia Plath?
Me, I'm already clearing out the garage to make sure the car actually fits and, simultaneously getting my affairs in order. The thought of Toby and Eriksen fucking off to "better" clubs...the thought of the Champions League anthem being played just before Guendouzi leads a revamped/retooled scum attack at the Parc des Princes...the thought of us getting ready to fly out to Albania for our first group stage match...all this fills me with the kind of dread I'm not sure my 51-year-old ticker can withstand. Losing to an Ajax team that I know we would fucking CRUSH were we anywhere near full strength would do my head in- yes- but I could handle it; flaming out of a Top-4 finish- one that's practically been gift wrapped for us- now that I actually don't think I could handle...
I wonder if there's a book that would take $ on a Tottenham-double-meltdown-misery parlay? That way I'll at least be able to leave something to my kids...
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