Let's All Laugh At... Let's All Laugh At West Ham

[timfrancis]

.
Balotelli on a freebie.

New incoming cult hero ?

For about 4 months and then he'll start angling for a move!

 

[Spurger King]

West Ham's 'ground' will be an athletics stadium next weekend.
.
Gomez deal is likely off but the Twitternet now mentioning Balotelli on a freebie.

New incoming cult hero ?

Balotelli would be perfect for them. Another clown for the circus.

 

[hughy]

West Ham's 'ground' will be an athletics stadium next weekend.
.
Gomez deal is likely off but the Twitternet now mentioning Balotelli on a freebie.

New incoming cult hero ?

Balotelli and Welbeck on frees would be the two most West Ham signings I could think of.

 

[VegasII]

 

[soup]

Everything has gone so wrong for West Ham. I almost admire their relentless ambition, but it usually consists of nothing but lies, P.R. stunts and hot air.

The whole stadium farce is just a perfect West Ham storm. You can see their plan now, sell the old ground, make some flats, and some quick money, take the Olympic venue over, turn it into a huge football stadium, rebrand into London FC, get the tourists flocking, make top 4 and then sell as the biggest and best club and attraction in London.

It's a case of shooting for the moon but not really having the weapons to do it with. Big dildos and a big pair of hairy bollocks in Karen Brady just aren't big enough guns to pull it off.

Sometimes we don't know how lucky we are, although we are starting to realise it. Most, if not all fans would like their owners to say what comes out of West Ham, if it were true. They're the antithesis of Levy, and where he'll keep us all frustrated at his perceived lack of urgency for anything, and managing to keep us moaning at the lack of speed that the club's growth deserves, he's actually pushed it forward at a staggering rate whilst looking like it's some kind of slow progress. West Ham, on the other hand, I'm sure have seen us and thought 'we'll have some of that - he's done it, so can we'! Except they've taken the less considered, almost fan's route of going in all guns blazing, looking for fast success and not factored in that they're bumbling idiots who can't. Levy must be laughing his fucking head off at them.

Levy vs West Ham reminds me of The Usual Suspects, except, 'The greatest trick Levy ever pulled was letting West Ham think they had beaten him'. It might be slow and steady, but in around the exact same time, look at West Ham and their shit stadium and look at us. I'd be a bit bitter if I was them, not only at us, but everyone. But especially us.

 

[Stevespurs71]

Everything has gone so wrong for West Ham. I almost admire their relentless ambition, but it usually consists of nothing but lies, P.R. stunts and hot air.

The whole stadium farce is just a perfect West Ham storm. You can see their plan now, sell the old ground, make some flats, and some quick money, take the Olympic venue over, turn it into a huge football stadium, rebrand into London FC, get the tourists flocking, make top 4 and then sell as the biggest and best club and attraction in London.

It's a case of shooting for the moon but not really having the weapons to do it with. Big dildos and a big pair of hairy bollocks in Karen Brady just aren't big enough guns to pull it off.

Sometimes we don't know how lucky we are, although we are starting to realise it. Most, if not all fans would like their owners to say what comes out of West Ham, if it were true. They're the antithesis of Levy, and where he'll keep us all frustrated at his perceived lack of urgency for anything, and managing to keep us moaning at the lack of speed that the club's growth deserves, he's actually pushed it forward at a staggering rate whilst looking like it's some kind of slow progress. West Ham, on the other hand, I'm sure have seen us and thought 'we'll have some of that - he's done it, so can we'! Except they've taken the less considered, almost fan's route of going in all guns blazing, looking for fast success and not factored in that they're bumbling idiots who can't. Levy must be laughing his fucking head off at them.

Levy vs West Ham reminds me of The Usual Suspects, except, 'The greatest trick Levy ever pulled was letting West Ham think they had beaten him'. It might be slow and steady, but in around the exact same time, look at West Ham and their shit stadium and look at us. I'd be a bit bitter if I was them, not only at us, but everyone. But especially us.

Enjoyed that, thanks.

 

[Spurger King]

Everything has gone so wrong for West Ham. I almost admire their relentless ambition, but it usually consists of nothing but lies, P.R. stunts and hot air.

The whole stadium farce is just a perfect West Ham storm. You can see their plan now, sell the old ground, make some flats, and some quick money, take the Olympic venue over, turn it into a huge football stadium, rebrand into London FC, get the tourists flocking, make top 4 and then sell as the biggest and best club and attraction in London.

It's a case of shooting for the moon but not really having the weapons to do it with. Big dildos and a big pair of hairy bollocks in Karen Brady just aren't big enough guns to pull it off.

Sometimes we don't know how lucky we are, although we are starting to realise it. Most, if not all fans would like their owners to say what comes out of West Ham, if it were true. They're the antithesis of Levy, and where he'll keep us all frustrated at his perceived lack of urgency for anything, and managing to keep us moaning at the lack of speed that the club's growth deserves, he's actually pushed it forward at a staggering rate whilst looking like it's some kind of slow progress. West Ham, on the other hand, I'm sure have seen us and thought 'we'll have some of that - he's done it, so can we'! Except they've taken the less considered, almost fan's route of going in all guns blazing, looking for fast success and not factored in that they're bumbling idiots who can't. Levy must be laughing his fucking head off at them.

Levy vs West Ham reminds me of The Usual Suspects, except, 'The greatest trick Levy ever pulled was letting West Ham think they had beaten him'. It might be slow and steady, but in around the exact same time, look at West Ham and their shit stadium and look at us. I'd be a bit bitter if I was them, not only at us, but everyone. But especially us.

Yep. Levy played the long game for the benefit of the club, which is also in ENIC’s interest as an investment firm. However, their triad of scam artists are after the quick wins. They know what they’re doing (making a quick buck), but they don’t realise how short-sighted they’re being (that, or they don’t see or care about the bigger picture).

They’re being left behind by Everton, Leicester, and Wolves, let alone the current big six. They’re almost as many miles behind us as they are away from their pitch. They’ve saddled themselves to a shit football stadium (still a good athletics stadium) on a 99 year contract, which Levy has cornered them into being unable to rebuild.

I think they’ve generally appointed managers that make sense, but whilst they can pay some decent wages they simply can’t attract the volume of quality players to step up a level. I honestly think they’re likely to collapse if they get relegated. They’re a holiday home for soon to be retiring players, and a couple of big fish looking for a big money move to the dizzy heights of China. Oh and they have Noble; the embodiment of the club in his mediocrity. The uncapped Captain Crap.

The owners thought their rented athletics stadium would be a tourist draw, but failed to account for their in-fighting knuckle-dragging, flat cap-wearing clusterfuck of a fan base.

Lovely carpet though.

 

[soup]

Yep. Levy played the long game for the benefit of the club, which is also in ENIC’s interest as an investment firm. However, their triad of scam artists are after the quick wins. They know what they’re doing (making a quick buck), but they don’t realise how short-sighted they’re being (that, or they don’t see or care about the bigger picture).

They’re being left behind by Everton, Leicester, and Wolves, let alone the current big six. They’re almost as many miles behind us as they are away from their pitch. They’ve saddled themselves to a shit football stadium (still a good athletics stadium) on a 99 year contract, which Levy has cornered them into being unable to rebuild.

I think they’ve generally appointed managers that make sense, but whilst they can pay some decent wages they simply can’t attract the volume of quality players to step up a level. I honestly think they’re likely to collapse if they get relegated. They’re a holiday home for soon to be retiring players, and a couple of big fish looking for a big money move to the dizzy heights of China. Oh and they have Noble; the embodiment of the club in his mediocrity. The uncapped Captain Crap.

The owners thought their rented athletics stadium would be a tourist draw, but failed to account for their in-fighting knuckle-dragging, flat cap-wearing clusterfuck of a fan base.

Lovely carpet though.

All so true. I think the other names you mentioned have had bring their clubs into the modern era to a certain extent and have taken that job seriously and not just riding a wave of misunderstood and manufactured 'tradition' and 'pride' and attempting to suck the fans into some kind of weak cult rather than people who actually like to visit the stadium and watch the team on merit.

I've always loved the expression, to 'do the right thing and not the easy thing', but it's not a term I'm sure either of that trio have ever heard when it comes to running that club.

I don't really understand my dislike for them to be honest, I'm not that kind of football fan usually, but there's something about their cretinous nature that doesn't command the same respect I have for every other team.

It doesn't help that a lot of the West Ham fans I know and friends have actually become bigger twats spanning the years West Ham have been getting more desperate. They confuse passion for being nasty little next Tuesdays whenever it comes to having a conversation on football and pretend to defend the club like it's their mum. Even that is just for show most of the time. On social media.

The carpet is a bit of finesse. Given.

 

[Col_M]

wait wait wait....

hang on a dam minute...

So... are you trying to tell me that Man City is the first seat, Newcastle/Wolves is the 2nd/3rd seat? Hence they are expecting a Man City v Newcastle/Wolves final??? and that the 4th seat is west ham? (1st v 4th, 2nd v 3rd right?)

So even the premier league believes west ham to be rubbish.

Seed ? Is that what you mean, rather than Seat?

 

[spursfan77]

I was joking with a West Ham mate a couple of weeks ago with them ending up with welbeck and balotelli as their strikers next season. Looking more likely now. Probably makes them stronger than last season but couple go tits up any moment with injury or craziness!

 

[Shadydan]

When you sign players like Payet and Arnautovic which was always going to end in tears you'd think they'd learn to stay away from players like Balotelli...

 

['O Zio]

I was joking with a West Ham mate a couple of weeks ago with them ending up with welbeck and balotelli as their strikers next season. Looking more likely now. Probably makes them stronger than last season but couple go tits up any moment with injury or craziness!

Welbeck will keep Carrol and Wilshire company in the physio room and Balotelli will do something brilliant once every 5 or 6 games but the rest of the time offer absolutely nothing. IMO they aren't strengthened at all by either signing. Unless Balotelli decided to knuckle down but the chances of that are pretty slim, especially once he's seen what a dumpster fire of a club he's joined anyway. Can you imagine Noble trying to give him a dressing down?

 

[michaelden]

Welbeck will keep Carrol and Wilshire company in the physio room and Balotelli will do something brilliant once every 5 or 6 games but the rest of the time offer absolutely nothing. IMO they aren't strengthened at all by either signing. Unless Balotelli decided to knuckle down but the chances of that are pretty slim, especially once he's seen what a dumpster fire of a club he's joined anyway. Can you imagine Noble trying to give him a dressing down?

Training ground incident incoming!

 

[TheChosenOne]

Everything has gone so wrong for West Ham. I almost admire their relentless ambition, but it usually consists of nothing but lies, P.R. stunts and hot air.

The whole stadium farce is just a perfect West Ham storm. You can see their plan now, sell the old ground, make some flats, and some quick money, take the Olympic venue over, turn it into a huge football stadium, rebrand into London FC, get the tourists flocking, make top 4 and then sell as the biggest and best club and attraction in London.

It's a case of shooting for the moon but not really having the weapons to do it with. Big dildos and a big pair of hairy bollocks in Karen Brady just aren't big enough guns to pull it off.

Sometimes we don't know how lucky we are, although we are starting to realise it. Most, if not all fans would like their owners to say what comes out of West Ham, if it were true. They're the antithesis of Levy, and where he'll keep us all frustrated at his perceived lack of urgency for anything, and managing to keep us moaning at the lack of speed that the club's growth deserves, he's actually pushed it forward at a staggering rate whilst looking like it's some kind of slow progress. West Ham, on the other hand, I'm sure have seen us and thought 'we'll have some of that - he's done it, so can we'! Except they've taken the less considered, almost fan's route of going in all guns blazing, looking for fast success and not factored in that they're bumbling idiots who can't. Levy must be laughing his fucking head off at them.

Levy vs West Ham reminds me of The Usual Suspects, except, 'The greatest trick Levy ever pulled was letting West Ham think they had beaten him'. It might be slow and steady, but in around the exact same time, look at West Ham and their shit stadium and look at us. I'd be a bit bitter if I was them, not only at us, but everyone. But especially us.

I've said it before that the one of the Birmingham City fan forums did warn the West Ham faithful
that the Davids and Lady Brady were asset strippers.

 

[TheChosenOne]

KUMB post earlier this morning.
.

 

[robbiedee]

I've said it before that the one of the Birmingham City fan forums did warn the West Ham faithful
that the Davids and Lady Brady were asset strippers.

...phew - so glad you included the word asset there!

 

[nailsy]

West Ham's 'ground' will be an athletics stadium next weekend.
.
Gomez deal is likely off but the Twitternet now mentioning Balotelli on a freebie.

New incoming cult hero ?

I think there's a typo in the last two words.

 

[nailsy]

Welbeck will keep Carrol and Wilshire company in the physio room and Balotelli will do something brilliant once every 5 or 6 games but the rest of the time offer absolutely nothing. IMO they aren't strengthened at all by either signing. Unless Balotelli decided to knuckle down but the chances of that are pretty slim, especially once he's seen what a dumpster fire of a club he's joined anyway. Can you imagine Noble trying to give him a dressing down? :ROFLMAO:

No. but I can imagine Noble trying to give him a dressing gown for some reason.

I think Carrol's been released now so Welbeck would just be a direct replacement in not being available for 99% of their games.

 

['O Zio]

Training ground incident incoming!

Repeat of that clasisc Noble vs Sissoko incident but with Balotelli instead would be brilliant

Especially given that Balotelli is an absolute nutter so it's not beyond the realms of possibility that he just chins Noble as well

 

[King of Otters]

I've said it before that the one of the Birmingham City fan forums did warn the West Ham faithful
that the Davids and Lady Brady were asset strippers.

However incompetent they are, I think that's probably unfair. They do actually show some ambition in the transfer market, and generally back their managers pretty strongly.

The only issue they have, and it's a pretty big one, is that they have next to no idea what they're doing.